>I hardly know where I would start... Robin Hood is obviously 'controlled opposition' so that's out.
I personally use Schwab and Ameritrade. Schwab is arguably the better brokerage with more available options, fantastic customer support, and a great banking experience (checking). Ameritrade however has a much better trading experience. Nothing game changing, just fewer menus, cleaner information, built-in things like alerts, and a better flow. I use Schwab as my personal bank and use it for more advanced trades (or if Ameritrade doesn't have something I want to do), and I use Ameritrade for the day-to-day trades.
If you open an account, always use a cash account, never a margin account.
You can avoid most of the rigging by not trading 'meme' stocks. I can kind of see where they're going with the market manipulation angle. I mean, it's not true manipulation, but it is tens of thousands of people banding together to influence market prices. There's no reason to be involved in that as a new trader anyway though; most of those people are getting into a stock hoping it goes up like 500%. That's gambling, not investing.